be shine. I remember...

moved again!

2006-11-07T04:36:00.000+08:00

to wordpressssssss!

haha..

clearer sky over there. thats why i moved again.

if u dont feel like reading, or clicking on this, can always dont do so.

exam coming right? go read ur textbooks.

No exam? Go out and club.

dont like clubbing? Write a blog then!

haha....

Mambo Jumbo!

2006-11-06T21:09:00.000+08:00

Okay this is the Mambo Jumbo! Denyse and me are going to learn the steps (not from this idiot of course) for Mambo nights!!!!!!

Next sem will be Denyse, Me & Mambo! Sounds like You, Me & Dupree yah. Well,that movie sucks. Dont bother to watch.

Anyway this guy in the video damn lame and funny like shit. I doubt he is cute. haha. With the banana paperbag, what a stupid idea. The steps and the music not very synchro also. AND HE IS DAMN LAZY. Sit down and dance? Wtf.

Oh well, so fel now u know what is the funnylovinexcitinginterestingaddicting Mambo night that we always talk about. Wanna join us one day? muahaha..

So far, only denyse, remus, and me are serious about conquering the podium on Mambo night in Zouk. Is there no one else? Lynn the ahlian wannabe? Jy the RnB queen? Huey the TechnoCacat? Or Iamenuf the CuteLittleIndian? hahaha...

Mambo is just so fun.

I feel like I am going home whenever I go Mambo. =D

Love@ the 1st degree - Bananarama

Last night I was dreaming I was locked in a prison cell

When I woke up I was screaming calling out your name.
And the judge and the jury they all put the blame on me

They wouldn't go for my story
they wouldn't hear my plea.

Only you can set me free

'Cause I'm guilty - guilty - guilty as a girl can be.
Come on
baby
can't you see

I stand accused of love in the first degree.

Guilty of love in the first degree.

Someday I believe it you will come to my rescue

Unchain my heart you're keeping and let me start a new.
The hours pass so slowly since they've thrown away the key

Can't you see that I'm lonely
won't you help me
please?

Only you can set me free
. ..
Guilty of love in the first degree.
Cuilty - of love - guilty of love in -
Guilty - of love - guilty of love in -
Guilty - of love in the first degree.

And the judge and the jury they all put the blame on me

They wouldn't go for my story
they wouldn't hear my plea.

Only you can set me free
. . .
Only you can set me free
. . .
Only you can set me free
. ..

bkk part 1. (no time muahaha)

2006-11-06T18:51:00.000+08:00

There is nothing to read except the Tiger Tales....... So we start posing with the magazine..

Felicia - the Hippo

Keer - the Turtle
Denyse - the Seamonkey
Thoorasaap (denyse, correct spelling not?!) @the airport. Its free. So denyse called her parents and zongbo, fel called her mum, and I called guoren! To update him about the npd project! Its like..Wtf?!

Camwhoring. Muahaha..

The big bag that I borrowed from my roomie. Its really useful man. More spacious and convenient compared to their luggages. haha..

The telephones at the airport. =)

Taken at the Han's. No BK at the budget terminal. I bought it from T2. Only got Han's and Polar Express (inside). Quite pathetic. See the ah pek behind us? Super extra!
Me and denyse.... I look quite tall in this pic.. muahaha.

part 2 coming soon. Lazyyy.. haha.

The World Clock...

2006-11-05T21:02:00.000+08:00

I need a time indicator..a clock..No..Many many clocks..with different time zones..different time on different days..for different countries..

Damn..

I got too many friends who live in another time zone..who today live in yesterday..

Some are far ahead me..sleep before i get up..

Let me see...

I need one showing the Australia's time.. NO no...tWO..One Melbourne's, one Brisbane..

and..

Switzerland's..

United States's..

Germany's...

Scotland's..

Ukraine's..

And many many more..

I need one to put in my blog..so I know the time at all these places when I talk to those ppl over there, before i make a fool out of myself again.. blehhh.. =P

But it feels good to know these people, though so far away from me, still care for me..so much...

I feel loved..

today..

When the one in Ukraine said he was worried about me..

Thanks ah han..

Thanks for calling me Dear..

Though I know I might be one of your Dearsss..haha..

So anyone know anything like the sitemeter website where i could get the online clocks to put in my blog?

be shine...

2006-11-05T15:47:00.000+08:00

we all are human beings..

no one is Saint..there is no holy man..

we have flaws..we are imperfect mortals..

no one could bring you happiness, unconditionally..

no one is responsible for what you think, do, or feel..

except yourself..

life is unpredictable..so is love..

life is love..love is not everything..

so what is life actually?

no one knows the answer..

no one wants to know...

but i believe..

life isnt easy..

that makes it interesting..

challenging..

no one is omitted..

from the pain..

from the agony of love..of life..

mistakes make us stronger..

to learn..

to keep on learning..

in love..

in life.

we all have flaws..

we all are imperfect..

we all are human beings..

dont easily end your life..

because you dont know what is coming up next..

in your life..

it might be something you have been looking forward to it since you were born..

it might be what you are searching for your entire life..

dont give up..

so easily.

just bear in mind....

life wont be so interesting if it is easy...

have faith....

always...

be strong..

try to be shine...

this song works, all time...

though not a believer of Him....

Whenever this song plays in my Winamp..

I feel that I should carry on my life..

with hopes....

with faith.

look forward for the best to come..

to make a change in my life...

Standing cold and scared on top of blue hill,
There came one moment, when I lost my will.
I prayed for mercy, please lord take me away.
Oh give me sunshine where I only see grey.
My past had a hold on me, it can't be denied,
And the changes don't come easily.

I've been lonely, I've been cheated,
I've been misunderstood
I've been washed up, I've been put down,
And told I'm no good
But with you I belong,
Cause you help me be strong,
There's a change in my life,
Since you came along.

Now I don't mind working so hard every day.
And I don't pay no mind to what people say.
'Cause after all the pain I've been through
Lord knows I'd give up everything
Just to love only you
All my life I'd held my head bent in shame,
But now I've found you, and with you
I'll remain, Lord knows.

A man gets crazy when his life is all wrong,
And a heart gets weary when it doesn't belong.
When the road gets rocky Lord
You've got to keep on.
Let the new light come shining on through.

A Walk to Remember.....

2006-11-04T04:30:00.000+08:00

....took away three hundred milimeters tears from me..

it has been two.five years...

2006-11-02T21:17:00.000+08:00

.....since the day we said Goodbye.

It's astounding. Its overwhelming.

That I still cant stop myself from thinking... thinking of going back to him....

Try this...this is so damn cool..

2006-11-01T00:06:00.000+08:00

Try this @ MyHeritage.com. And its pretty cool i think. I have no idea who the hell is Son Ye-jin. Sud be a korean. But who cares, she is pretty haha..75% of egoboost. muahaha.

Hmm..looks like I should reconsider the nose job. =P

I remember asking Michael for money to go to Korea for a nose job.

"Hey I need a nose job. Lend me some money."

"Huh?! Are you serious? Your nose looks perfectly fine to me."

"Where got? I fucking hate my nose lah. Its small, flat and ugly. It reminds me of button mushroom. Argh."

"Its cute lah, darling. Anyway, can breath can liao lar."

"Oh yah? Then why do man wants a bigger cock? Can fuck can liao lah."

"......................................"

Angmohs dont like Durian leh.

2006-10-30T21:36:00.000+08:00

Angmohs dont like Durian.
They hate the smell and the taste.
Basically they just HATE durian!

We are doing a tourism project regarding liminality. Durian seems to be the easiest topic, so yah, we carried out our project in geylang and newton circus. It was a fun project outing and I really love this module. :)

Liminal entities are neither here not there; they are betwixt and between the positions assigned and arrayed by law, custom, convention and ceremonial. As such, their ambiguous and indeterminate attributes are expressed by a rich variety of symbols in the many societies that ritualize social and cultural transitions.

In short, liminality in tourism means why and how tourists act differently from who they are when they are back in their own countries. I guess a lot of us do experience the same thing when we were touring in the foreign lands.

There are different roles that different tourist acted. The tourist can act as a dreamer who fantasizes one’s journey in another country; act as a child who likes to indulge in oneself, act as a playful/liminal who acted differently and lastly, the tourist can act as a seeker who looks for new challenges. Some tourists may act differently when they are touring in another country to break away from the tension they had and feel like going back to the past, like a child. They just want to get rid of their hectic adult existence into a new world engendered by feelings of curiosity.

We brought Edward, a Swiss exchange student along with us since he was so curious about Durian. The interview was really funny and I believe he would never ever try Durian again. =P

Okay let me show you this cheeky fella first.
This guy is trying to lick my boot now in Skype.
aHEM.. Edward is sweet and nice!
But the world would be great if he can stop talking. (and irritate me)

K : So where do you come from?

E : I come from Switzerland.

K : So what do you think of this?

E : Well, I have heard a lot of this. Before I come to Singapore, one of my friends in Switzerland, all he told me about Singapore was “If somebody offers you durians, you just make a diversion and run away.” Its really terrifying. All my Europeans I made in Singapore they all told the same. Basically durian was a mix of all bad smells of all. Well, perhaps I have heard so much about it, and now I am really totally disgusted, but not so much as I was afraid.

K : So how’s the smell?

E : Well, I have never smelled something like that before.

K : How does it smell?

E : It’s a little bit like onion.

K : Onion? So is it good or bad?

E : Really bad.

K : Would you like to try it now?

E : Yeah, I would like to.

K : Look at the video. What do you think?

E : Well, Horrible. Absolutely horrible. Disgusting.

K : Anything to say?

E : Really disgusting. Horrible. How could you like this?!

K : How is the taste like?

E : Horrible. Terrible. Awful. Disgusting.

K : So you wouldn’t recommend this to your friend?

E : No. No.

K : Would you like to try some more?

E : No. No!

EDWARD : DURIAN IS THE COMBINATION OF ALL THE BAD SMELLS AND TASTES!!! HOW COULD YOU (ME!) LIKE THIS?!!

There are so many ohter infos I wanted to share here, but well, we need them for our project.It isnt that appropriate to reveal too much here. Who knows there is another group doing the same topic as us. Ahemm.. So I better shut up now. :X

Some other pictures we took on that day.

Me and Ed. Me trying too hard to fake a smile.

Shaobin and Ed. Sweet.

Where's the photo of May and Ed? Weird.

4 of us @ Newton! Me, Ed, May, Shaobin.

chan rak bkk maak maak

2006-10-29T00:24:00.000+08:00

aloha!

blogging from bkk. =) sawatdiikha.

we are staying in this place called asha guesthouse and apparently we are the only asians here. the rest are angmohsss.

denyse and fel went upstair to pack their stuff while i was sitting at the garden sipping the thai birdy coffee before i decided to come in to this hot and stuffy computer room to blog something abt this bkk trip. the birdy coffee is quite famous in thai (according to denyse), but fuck, my white shorts now got stained bcz... it just got stained. =P

i kinda miss home. i dont know why. muahaha.

we have to pay 1 baht for 1 minute of internet access and yah, it was quite sucky as when i was using the computer just now, i accidently pressed print and sent two print job to the knn color printer and each page costed me 15 baht. see how ridiculously expensive is the paper in thailand. gahhh.

third day in bkk and we spent most of our time shopping, eating and shopping and eating. when the legs are tired, we rest them at starbucks. in fact thailand has a lot of other coffee shop, some are franchised some are localbased. we didnt get to try the local's coz denyse is a diehard fan of starbucks. so everywhere we go, we drink starbucks.

its nice though. when i was sitting inside starbucks in phatphom sipping my frappe mocha with coffee jelly, i could see whats going on outside thru the glass window. inside, its totally like in singapore but when u open the door and walk out of starbucks, u will hear ppl talking (some are screaming) in thai. sawatdiikha. may dii may dii. its totally two different worlds.

the first night we took a cab to phatphom (i hope i didnt spell it wrongly) and shopped around. its a night market and its more a tourist place compared to other markets. but well, i think that bkk somehow has lost its traditional uniqueness, thank to tourism. everywhere u could see tourists from all over the world. a lot of angmohs, and a lot of asians too.

yesterday we shopped around mbk which is a very large shopping mall in the city. girls could get everything they need from mbk and nearby there is this place called bonanza mall, which is very similar to the bugis village in singapore. things here are dirt cheap if compared to singapore.

today we went to chatuchak market which was 4 times larger compared to nus(denyse said so, but i think at most 2 times only) and we kinda havent finish explore the whole place yet. so, we are going back there tmr! muahaha. shopping is never enough. :P

we had our thai massages today and it was realllly great. only me got the male massager and it was kinda funny letting a guy (who isnt ur bf!) give u full body massage. but well, he is really good. so i tipped him 50 baht. :)

it was a funny experience as this was the first time i went for thai massage.

the whole thing took us 40 minutes (200 baht each) and we laughed like mad throughout the whole process.

me asking the my thai massager : "so who is the no 1 massager in this place."

him : "me!"

me : "so how about fel's?"

him : "no.2 "

me : then how about denyse's?"

him :"no.3"

crap! but he is damn funny :P

on the street, u could see the numbers of taxi are relatively more than the numbers of cars. and yah, tuk tuk. we had our tuktuk ride yesterday night. it was exciting yet torturing. the traffic is damn freaking bad and we paid 150 baht to add oils and dirts on our faces.

we had thai food for lunch and dinner. the papaya salad was really nice and its damn cheap. 40 baht only!! a big huge plate.

the cigg here was really cheap too! i bought myself a pack of malboro lights which is only 60 baht, which is ard 2.4 bucks. in singapore, one pack of malb lights is 11 bucks! i wish i could smuggle 10 cartons back home. :P

i have 7 minutes left to 40 minutes usage of the computer, which will cost me 40 baht.

so yah, better make it quick.

6 more minutes.

i didnt really buy anything for anyone, except the slippers for lynn. (lynn no orange color one, only black one. paiseh ya, we didnt see any in chatuchak honestly, so i bought it in mbk).

me bought a lot of stuff and couldnt carry them back. seriously :P

okay 3 minutes left.

tmr im coming back :)

me miss singapore. but love bkk more haha..

How Now Brown Cow

2006-10-26T01:22:00.000+08:00

The problem of having a ship without a captain is -

Everyone is waiting for everyone to decide what everyone should do for everyone so that everyone can know what everyone should do so that everyone's ship wont sink when finally everyone decided what everyone should do.

In short, everyone is waiting for everyone to decide.

This is all because everyone is waiting for everyone to decide. So this everyone chose to be everyone so that everyone can get something started in order to move this fucking ship.

Everyone = Me = Everyone.

The 4 hours nap just now wasnt really powderful. I was rushing reports and giving orders to "everyone" in NPD project even when I was sleeping. Oh well, in fact its quite powderful in a sense. I was sweating as if like I was having a nightmare. I kept on turning left and right as if I was running up and down the fst lab as usual.

This big ship is rocking fast and this captain here just couldnt get some fucking rest cause her crews cant goddamn read the goddamn compass.

When I finally had enough of "nightmare" and decided to rush my report in real life, I saw TEN! msn messages blinking at me! T.E.N TEN!

10 fucking messages waiting for me to reply.

One was asking me how should we fake the results for the enzyme report since we were slacking in the lab refused to do any gram staining and now yes! we dont have any results for the report! FIVE of us in a group, why die die have to ask me?!

One was sending me her newlyupdated blog asking me to read it since i complained too much about her pictureless blog.

One was sending me funny and lame youtube vvbvvvvv bvv bvv v v i think my vvvfv got problem. I mean VVVVVVV. Damn one small keypad cost me 15 bucks. Damn.vvvvvvvvvvvv video i mean.

One was asking me were I away when it was so obvious that I was away since my msn status is AWAY!

One was telling me his friend said I am cute and yummy and his friend is the one who send me the youtube vvvvvvd v vvbvvvvvvv ideo that one.

One was telling me that our NPD report is finally up and i could download it from there and send it to the nippon guy before i fly to thailand tmr for my holiday.

One said Hi. Then appeared offline.

Three more were still blinking there and I lazy to click on them.

I am using Skype more frequent now because MSN is seriously driving me crazy. Skype is quieter as those in my list are close friends. They wont disturb u when its unnecessary and will drop by to say hI and Take care once in a while.

But recently, some weirdos anyfuckinghow added me and asked me funny qns.

One poor fella got screwed. Sigh.

荣添: 13:27:48
hi

- k e e r: 13:32:50
who r u?

荣添: 13:38:23
I‘m a Chinese

- k e e r: 13:38:40
no i mean who r u?

荣添: 13:39:12
a stranger

荣添: 13:39:32
but i think we can make friends

荣添: 13:40:26
I'm a graduate student

荣添: 13:42:04
why don't you speak?

- k e e r: 13:42:51
Speak?

荣添: 13:43:44
I have no hostility,I just want to make friend with you,and I want to improve my English

荣添: 13:44:28
sorry ,I press the wrong button

- k e e r: 13:44:34
okay

- k e e r: 13:44:34
i see

- k e e r: 13:44:36
my name is charine

- k e e r: 13:44:38
:)

- k e e r: 13:44:43
nice to talk to u

荣添: 13:48:40
can you speak chinese?

荣添: 13:50:52
my chinese name is zhagyong,English name is time,I'm very glad to talk with you

荣添: 13:55:11
do you have a MSN mumber?can you tell me,I think we can talk on MSN

荣添: 13:58:12
do you have a MSN mumber?can you tell me,I think we can talk on MSN

荣添: 14:00:49
do you have a MSN mumber?can you tell me,I think we can talk on MSN

荣添: 14:02:26
Do you have a MSN number?

(I think he has no idea FLOODING is the greatest sin in Msn/skype! It was in MRIC last time. Aww.. i MISS ICQ and MRIC)

荣添: 14:11:11
My MSN number is XXX@hotmail.com,please add me

2006-10-25
荣添: 11:08:34
hi

- k e e r: 11:09:42
er

- k e e r: 11:09:46
are u alright?

荣添: 11:10:24
ok

荣添: 11:10:43
do you have MSN number?

- k e e r: 11:10:53
er no

- k e e r: 11:10:55
we can chat here if u want

荣添: 11:11:17
ok

荣添: 11:11:30
what's your job?

- k e e r: 11:12:11
im studying

荣添: 11:13:25
oh,I'm a graduate student,24 years old

荣添: 11:13:36
what about you?

- k e e r: 11:13:51
what is ur purpose of adding me in skype?

- k e e r: 11:13:55
you know what?

- k e e r: 11:14:07
i aint got time for this type of casual chat though i'd love to

- k e e r: 11:14:43
24 hours a day isnt enough for me to finish all my work

荣添: 11:14:54
I want to improve my English

(And he doesnt know Skype is not a place for him to improve his England. Someone get him a tuition agency or someth preasse!)

- k e e r: 11:15:06
so yah, if you are here to ask me how am i or what i usually do..sorry u found the wrong person

- k e e r: 11:15:19
so are you going to pay me to help u improve ur english?

- k e e r: 11:15:24
since i trade my time for it

- k e e r: 11:16:39
*knock knock*

- k e e r: 11:16:41
u there?

荣添: 11:16:57
ok,I found the wrong person,I'm sorry for wasting your time

- k e e r: 11:17:05
yah its okay:)

- k e e r: 11:17:12
good luck in improving ur english

- k e e r: 11:17:14
:)

荣添: 11:19:31
But I hope that we can make friend, one day I can speak English fluently,than I'll talk about you ,OK?

- k e e r: 11:20:49
hey dude

- k e e r: 11:20:53
its not about ur english

- k e e r: 11:21:04
its because i dont have time to have this kind of casual conversation

- k e e r: 11:21:07
get it?

- k e e r: 11:21:14
me=very very busy

荣添: 11:21:33
ok

- k e e r: 11:34:40
its okay..will talk to u when my exam ends

- k e e r: 11:34:40
:)

- k e e r: 11:34:43
meanwhile take care

荣添: 11:35:36
ok,thank you very much

- k e e r: 11:38:01
:)

荣添: 11:38:47
wish you do well in your exam

When did Skype becomes a place where people get to improve their engerishhh?!

Oh well, I still havent finish whining about my ship.

I wasnt the captain, but everyone is waiting for someone to decide what everyone should do next.

I am taking 6 modules just like everyone else. Some actually only take 5 and some have already done with their urops so they left with 5 as well. But yours truly here, still have SIX final papers to mug for!

So dont think that my 24 hours a day is longer than urs. In fact it is shorter cause I sleep more.
But my mind hasnt stop running even in my sleep. Just to move this fucking ship for everyone.

And my tourism module is driving me crazy too! For godsake, I SU-ED that module yet I am putting sooooo much effort in it. For fuck I dont know. Cause my two lovely grpmates never learn the word "initiative" in their schools. And yah, I think first year students really gotta get to know more about NUS system, especially this SU options.

When someone has already SU-ed a module, meaning she/he/me! is not going to put in so much effort in that module coz i anyhow do/closeoneofmyeyesanddo/ dontsubmitanyassignments /dont go to tutorialorlectures I ALSO CAN PASS THAT MODULE WITH S! S= satisfactory if u dont know.

Meaning I am wasting my time which i sud use for my other modules on this goddamn fucking module which i could pass it easily with a BIG S!

After I finally replied to all the msn and skype msgs, I saw 5 msgs and 3 miss calls in my phone!

I wanted to pretend I never see it at all but I was thinking "What if Mum calls?!" and "What if someone calls from the aussie land?"

5 msgs - 4 ALL about school work and 1 was from hometown friend.

3 missedcalls - 2 from idiots :( and 1 from the aussie land :)

I really need a break.

EVERYONE HOW NOW BROWN COW?

Can let this everyone have a break now?!

I am flying in less than 20 hours time and I have yet packed my things!!!!!

I thought u guys asked me to enjoy my holiday?

Then still give me all these shites to do for fuck?!

Cover to Cover

2006-10-24T23:39:00.000+08:00

While everyone is rushing their reports and some actually have already started mugging in the study room, I am taking a sinful break from the world.

Cover to cover - is about a 29 yr old girl Tanya who find a book ostensibly about her own life in a second hand bookshop, when the line between the truth and reality begins to blur.

Her life, her mind is complicated, so is mine.

I am half way thru chapter 3 so yah, more to go before i know whats exactly going on in her life. But well, ive already got addicted to it. Somehow I could see some similarities of her in me. It makes me wonder, shall I continue reading coz her way of thinking is really too dispiriting and dreamy.

Its like a wakeup call alarming me that I should get out of all these shites - at least try.

In fact, I was trying hard, just that I didnt show it. The desire of getting myself out of depression is larger than anything else. I thought reading helps, but it has somehow make me realise, I am not the only one suffering from this - Tanya is another one at least.

Bryan, the cheeky fella, tried all means to cheer me up. From the idiotic expressions in webbie, to the international calls, to the guitar playing and the journey around his house, Ive been cheered I know. Thanks dude. I am really looking forward to see you soon. Really. =)

And I am sorry..

for being so useless, allowing myself to fall into this trap called Depression.
for always wanting you to cheer me up when I am down.
for taking down ur pics in webbie and show the world how stupid you are.
I am actually trying to show off to them I have such a great friend around. Really.
for not being able to go back to the keer that u prefered.
for not being me.

I am so sorry.

But I promise I will get better. Life will get better too.

Cant wait for nov to end soon. Cant wait to sit beside the swimming pool, sipping my ice coffee while watching the sun goes down.

And I miss you. Really.

Another note to Aikwei : Sorry for being a bitch tonight. I know you care. I know you always do. And you know what? You are the only person who will never get angry with me. Thats why i am so spoiled. Anyhow screw u when i feel like to. But I know you will always be there. Thanks. really. =)

People,I am flying on this Thurs, not today or tomorrow. Will be back on Sunday. So yah, just leave me a comment if you miss me. =)

untitled.three

2006-10-24T18:08:00.000+08:00

it will get better and better.

hang on there!!!

Bang! bang! bang!

2006-10-23T20:16:00.001+08:00

can you hear the sound coming from my mind
its like the slamming of the big square metal door
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
im breaking down breaking down breaking down

i have been so silly so damn fucking silly
did the things that i shouldnt have done it
the pride and prejudice are crushing my brain
over and over and over again

what the fuck is wrong with this goddamn world
and what the fuck is wrong with this silly me
i was shouting to the world how good my life is
and now fucking the fucking world fucking up my life

i know i know i should stop profaniting
this lovely little blog should be kept nice clean
the blog is innocent well the owner is not
she has never done something as wicked as this before

when the sun rise up again tomorrow
shall she be punished for being a fool
or let another man atones the fucking sins
and again and again and again and again

its the silliness and the naiveness
they push me and let me fall
fall into a hole that was nine metres deep
so its not my fault afterall

so its not my fault afterall
why do i still hear that fucking door
making that fucking sound banging on my head
BANG BANG BANG BANG

it is breaking me down
watch the world spinning around
can anybody hear that sound
is anybody out there

im losing my way
keep losing my way
its breaking me down
BANG bang BANG bang

Puzzling Babel

2006-10-22T21:27:00.000+08:00

These signs remind me of Wayne and our "Smoke free" campus.

He was caught smoking near where I stay and the officer was damn funny when he said :

"Hey boy, do you know this is a smokefree campus?"

Wayne pretended not knowning the fact though I told him not to smoke in school.

"Err i dont know Sir." he replied, sarcastically.

The officer was a lil bit pissed, so he patted on Wayne's shoulder and said,:

"Boy I am giving you a warning now. This is a smoke free campus. Especially near Yusof Ishak House Student Centre.Understood?"

Life can be rather confusing too, sometimes. It is confusing, and it confuses people who wasnt confused in the first place. But its the confusers who live the confusing lives, so how could we say its life that confuses the confused but not we who make our lives confusing?

Well, If life is lacking in this kind of confusion, it wouldnt be attracting.

Some people live for a fortune.
Some people live just for the fame.
Some people live for the power.
Some people live just to play the game.

Some people live to find out why are they living. I am one of them. And I am impressed how my life moulds itself and always give me more than I expected.

I am lucky. I am fortunate. I really am.

self-denial.

2006-10-22T03:45:00.000+08:00

Would you try to be different when you have found that the similarities among the rest are unbearable?

You dont get what I am trying to say here?

Well, its okay.

I dont either.

I am just pretending.

Or you think self-denying might sounds appropriater. Ah well, whatever.

Some people say "If you cant beat them, join them."
I actually prefer the inverse - "If you cant join them, beat them!".

My ego always put me in the position to challenge the universe, to beat my opponent who might be my friend as well, to dress differently and to behave like an alien from Venus.

I dont want to be like the average.

I just cant.

I like this slogan from NUM -

"Its not we are trying to be different, Its you all look the same."

In fact, they are talking about the rising of the gay population in singapore. Oh well.

Today, I realised I couldnt work under tremendous stress. Maybe. It is a fact that I always refuse accept.Maybe. Those fellas in cc were damned by my big fat temper, like always. Whenever the bar gets busy and no one was there to float the drinks up, i'll get real upset. When people blocking the way from the coffee machine to the ice cream chiller, I will begin to fuck here and there. Not only the other staff were screwed, even the customers sitting at the table near the bar also kena the sudden attack of my extremely uncontrollable pettishness.

I SERIOUSLY need to control my temper and be a nicer person. =)

Another note, Zouk on Saturday night was really really disappointing. Both Phuture and Zouk were playing techno music. The entire fucking night! But well, the best thing about tonight was the $12 cover charges with 2 free drinks if you enter before 10pm , and 1 for 1 from 11 - 12 am. We had 2 vodka, 2 gin tonic, 2 bacardi, 2 whiskey and a full night of techno dancing. Pretty cool actually. It wasnt that bad as Ed was really a good dancer. He was flaming hawwwt too! :P

The Banana Leaf in Singapore is really too overrated. Too many tourists, too long the waiting hours, and too fucking expensive food! No second time for me. It wasnt that fantastic as well. I still prefer the Indian stall in Malaysia that serve darn good prata and uncomparable teh tarik!

The teh tarik in Singapore is too diluted. And damn awful.

its 3 am in the morning

2006-10-21T03:18:00.000+08:00

What can we talk about in 3 am in the morning?

Lets talk about life.

Too heavy?

Lets talk crap then!

Too superficial?

Isnt that what we all are always doing?

While we piddle away the precious time in our lives, someone's has already ended.

I realised I get easily affected by lots of stuff nowadays. Stories. Life stories. Sad life stories especially. I am getting emotional over things that might be unrelated to me. My mind kept running around and around with overloaded random thoughts.

There are just too many questions to be answered. Too many thoughts need to be neatened.

I love working in cc once in a while. Thats the only time I can finally rest my mind, and be unknowning for a moment. That place is full of laughters and happiness. Everyone comes from different family background, and moving towards different directions in life. One has a misfortunate life , while another has unlimited fortune to last him for his entire life. One's salary might be the sole income for the whole family, while another's might be splurged on unnecessary stuff. Life is unpredictable. The people we come across and the kind of friendship we share are even more unexpectable.

This place might be a quickstop for someone to earn extra pocket money for more shopping trips, but to someone else, it might be the only source of income sustain the whole family with three basic meals. New staff come, old staff go. Some people stop for a while, some stay forever. We met, we make friends, we work together, we shared our stories, we laughed and teared, we hold on to each other, we sing out loud together, we grumbled we cursed, we apologized we forgave, we eat we drink we say we love cc yes we do.

Whatever may come, we remember everyone by heart.

The teh tarik effect was greater than expected. I was too tired, so I thought a teh tarik might be a good idea. Oh well, I need to learn some methods of forced-sleeping.

The last stick of cigaratte was burnt at the butt and I guess I look like an idiot thinking why the hell my cig isnt lighted. I think I am really too tired.

Good night world.

ps : leave me a comment? Anything will do. I just want to know who is reading, who still cares.

untitled.two.

2006-10-19T23:36:00.000+08:00

I actually forbid myself from typing the whole sentence because full sentence,like this one, just makes me feel like crying. Me= emo.

Sometimes I dont feel like blogging. Cos' it despressed me. I really think so.

I have been living on my own since Ive moved out from hall. After coming back from school, I like to go to the student lounge to do my work. In fact, I can hardly get anything done.But I just like to sit in the crowd, and look at every single person who walk in and out. At least, I dont feel so lonely.

You might think that I dont have to lead such a miserable life actually. But well, I dont think I am in misery though. Okay maybe a little bit. But I dont hate it actually.

I dont have many friends in Singapore. Close friends I mean. I do miss them. But I choose not to. I have learned to lead my life, all by myself.

Like somebody said, "We just need to get used to it."

Maybe.

Bryan called from Australia few hours ago. I was surprised coz I was the second person he called after his Mum. We have been flirting with each other since he and his gf had some relationship conflicts. I am guilty, somehow. Its not that I like him or anything. But I do think that he is a really nice guy and he cares for me, all the time. Seeing him online, make my day. This fella just know the trick to make me smile, with all his crappy nonsense.

I miss him a lot, a lot.

He is coming back next month. I wonder what will happen. I dont even want to think about it. Maybe things will remain the same. Maybe I think too much. Maybe there isnt maybe.

Maybe.

I am sitting on the staircase near Cheers, again. Every night, I will bring my laptop and my cigarattes here, when I decided to take a break from mugging. Not many cars drove by.Whenever the people jogged by, they will take a glance at me and continue their run.

I like the quietness of the night. The sounds of the orthoptera and the keyboard's. ta da ta da ta.

Till today, I still play the song "Collide" by Howie Day in my Winamp.

When the battery dies out, I will leave this place, like always.

I believe life will get better and better.

Talking to exchange students make me realise that life is not supposed to in the way it has been all the while. I was thinking, its either live materialistically, or spiritually.

I aint got religion. Not yet.

Any other methods to get spiritualised?

But well, I havent think of any Why that I need to get some spiritual exposures. If there isnt any Why, does it means that I would just have to live my life superficially?

I dont think i'll ever get satisfied materialistically.

I need to make a trip up north, to be convinced how fortunate myself is.

The bangkok shopping trip on next thursday doesnt count anyway. But I am quite looking forward to it, cos' it will be my last shopping holiday.

Sanctify me!

2006-10-19T22:54:00.000+08:00

Purify me from the corrupting influences of the world.

Sanctify me please, by all means, except religiously.

I need some therupees to save me from drowning in the sea of superficiality. Throw me no buoy. Give me no stick. The series of waves are too fast too furious.

Me need no help. As the one inside doesnt avail me to the available resources. Me sinking fast. While the inner-self laughing viciously.

"What are you trying to do to me?" she asked.

"No. I am just trying to spiritualise you. Dont you just needed that?" he replied.

"Are you God? Oh man." she cried out.

"I am not God, but I can help you." he pleaded.

"You are not God then what can you do? I dont believe there's God anyway." she muttered.

"You gonna believe this. Cos' bible said there's God." he continued.

"Who wrote the bible then?" she asked again.

"I dont know. Its not written in the bible." he mumbled in a small voice.

The first light of day falls on her face.
She wantons her life away, everyday.

Rinpa Arts

2006-10-19T02:43:00.000+08:00

This is truly fascinating.. Its unexpressibly superb. Japaneses are really more creative and innovative. Im.pres.sive!!

Economically designed cows

2006-10-18T03:29:00.000+08:00

I got this from Miss Izzy's blog who got this from Harry Schultz newsletter.
Its about hows the cows were treated in different countries, associations, and politic bodies.

Moo. and laugh.

SOCIALISM:
You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you
some milk.

FASCISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you
some milk.

NAZISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the
other, then throws the milk away…

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block
the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the
size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market
it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100
years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the
owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest
the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Both are mad.

IRAQI CORPORATION:
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you
have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the shit out of you and invade
your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a
Democracy….

SURREALISM:
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

HONG KONG CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank.
Then you execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all 4 cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping 5 cows.
The milk rights of 6 cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder.
He sells the rights to all 7 cows’ milk back to the listed company, and proceeds from the sale are deferred. The annual report says that the company owns 8 cows, with an option on one more.
Meanwhile, you kill the 2 cows because the feng shui is bad.

NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION:
You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

SINGAPOREAN CIVIL SERVICE
You have two cows. You scold each one everyday before and after milking.
You teach one of them to scold the other.
You instruct them to moo only on command.

AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

How about MALAYSIAN CORPORATION?
You dont have any cow.
You have a lot of two legged pigs.
You feed them well.
But too bad, they only know how to eat,sleep and shout --
"MALAYSIA BOLEH!".

So you think you really can dance?

2006-10-18T02:11:00.000+08:00

Dancing geniuses....damn funny

More Videos on KillSomeTime.com

untitled.one

2006-10-17T17:51:00.000+08:00

Do you easily say "I love you", like you say "I miss you"?

What is love made up of? Feelings? Emotions? Memories? Connections? Responsibilites? or just four letters L,O,V,E?

I remember asking grandma about her definition of love. How could she spend her whole life with grandpa, peacefully for more than 50 years? What is the secret recipe to a successful relationship or marriage? Is it LOVE? or its obligations?

She didnt tell me what exactly she felt about her marriage. But from her smiley faces (always!), i know that she has not regret for marrying a man that left this world before her. The first day they finally met each other, it was their big day. For nearly 55 years, the only thing they have is each other. I remember they once told me their story of surviving the terrific period of World War II and how they managed to bring up 7 kids without fail to provide every child at least primary education.

I love to listen to their stories, especially their love story. However, since my grandpa passed away 3 years ago, ive stopped asking anything regarding two of them. I remember her tears cant stop running down the cheek the last time i asked her whether if she misses grandpa. Though my mouth is sealed, her eyes are still tearing till now.

They dont easily say "I love you".

In fact i dont remember hearing them saying this kind of mushy mushy thing. Maybe they do. But not in front of us. Most of the time they fought, they quarrelled, they yelled at each other's sloppiness, they called each other stupid when they make mistakes and they slept separately every nights.

This is because they are deeply in love,secretly,silently,wordlessly.

Their love is unexpressible.

Whenever grandma was out for night mahjong session, grandpa will stand in the garden, pretend to water the flowers, while waiting for grandma to come back home. It was so obvious that even blind man can tell that he was waiting impatiently for grandma's return.

When grandpa was in coma, grandma never fail to stay by his side, every single minute. Her red swollen eyes told me how much she wants him to stay. That period was really critical but she managed to brave out the situation again and again. The cruel lung cancer took him away from her on a sunny day in November 2003.

One more month to three years since he left us. I still remember the expression on her face the day he said goodbye. I dont know what did he leave for grandma. Nothing i think. He spent all his savings to build our family. Whats left here is only the memories to last her till they meet again in heaven.

She didnt say much when we visited grandpa last year.
She just merely looked at his picture pasted on the cold dead wall.
It seemed they were talking to each other, wordlessly.

This year, I am going to miss the visit to grandpa's tomb again. :'(

I am getting emo. I miss grandpa. I miss grandma. I really should stop typing before my tears wet my keyboard.

I was thinking...

How could you say you love me so easily?

What do you love about me? I wonder.

We've Only Been Dating a Few Months - I Don't Want to Pry

2006-10-17T01:20:00.000+08:00

Guy #1: So I said to her, 'Are you a him or a her?'

Guy #2: And she said?

Guy #1: Well, I guess she started taking the hormones already so she said she was a she.

Guy #2: Ok...

Guy #1: I mean I told her I didn't care, I just wanted to know which personal pronoun to use if I have to introduce her to someone.

Guy #2: Makes sense. How does she identify herself?

Guy #1: I asked her that. She said she is butch masculine. Whatever that means.

Overheardinnewyork.com

Its not that funny.
But it makes me laugh.
Maybe the durian and the prata.
Were the real sources of adrenaline.

une nuit des tragédies

2006-10-16T04:40:00.000+08:00

"A night of tragedies" was typed
In Fishy Bable Translation
"English-French" button was clicked
The title appeared in the box

3 sad stories and a smile
In the middle of the night
Marked the beginning of a friendship
Between a man and a girl

The man aspires to be a doctor
Saving thousands peoples' lives
Travelling around the world
To see what is life made of

A house by the sea is her dream
Wake up loving the world a bit more
Before burying her feet in the sand
Touring the world is what she needs

First tragedy was told
Second tragedy followed
They laughed they joked they played around
While the culture exchange secretly took place

Who was impressed who isnt
Thats not what it really matters
Durio zibethinus will prove it right
When the dawn is breaking right

Last tragedy punctuated the talk of the night
Mozart's requiem was still playing high
Two hungry souls longing for dreamless slumber
Goodnight world goodnight

bored.

2006-10-15T21:34:00.000+08:00

In wordweb, Bored = Tired of the world / Uninterested because of frequent exposure or indulgence.

I am so bored, really.

drink drank drunk

2006-10-15T02:49:00.000+08:00

all the carbohydrates were puked into the drain
i hope a downpour will wash them away
stains can be washed away
how about memories

my laughters have never been lessened
but deep inside im lonely
a solitary walk is mandatory
with no one else

someone told me he will get saddened
if i ever allow tears running down my cheeks again
he was the first to know this blog address
not intentionally yet its coincidently

the mexican waitor was far too friendly
i rejected the generous offer of sinful margarita
no thank you i said
though i so needed to get some drunken binges

as i stood there staring the dark blue sky
i realised i am nobody
maybe i should take the air
leave my footprints at somewhere else

what to do next where to go
how shall i express myself
to convince you that this is just another random entry
after drink drank drunk